


Her, not him

by Roostertease_it



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: F/M, Gore, M/M, Mavin, NSFW, mainly Mavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:31:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7539835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roostertease_it/pseuds/Roostertease_it
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Separated from their loved ones,  Michael and Gavin wander the world together, always watching for attackers. Unrequited love and a fragile heart sparks events that would otherwise never happen.</p>
<p>"Gavin gazed at Michael's crying face, guilt welling in the pit of his stomach. Michael Was clutching his wife's ring. She was gone, they were all gone, and even though Gavin knew it wasn't his fault-how could it be?- he still felt, deep down, that it was."</p>
<p>Zombie AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Her, not him

**Author's Note:**

> This my first NSFW fic I've posted (I've written a few) for AH :P. Just let me say I Don't have any bad feelings towards Lindsay and would never wish any harm on her!!, this is just fiction!.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. This wasn't what he wanted.

Gavin gazed at Michael's crying face, guilt welling in the pit of his stomach. Michael Was clutching his wife's ring. She was gone, they were all gone, and even though Gavin knew it wasn't his fault-how could it be?- he still felt, deep down, that it was.

The zombies had spread slowly, border control was heavily enacted, each city and town surrounded by it's own wall made from strong materials like concrete, various metals and junk piles. They were guarded in shifts by police and, eventually, anyone that had a gun. It was strange how quickly people forgot about the zombies when they weren’t being affected. The Zombies attacked their part of Austin when Michael had driven Gavin home for something he forgot. They had been goofing off in Gavin's apartment, cooking food and playing games. Life felt as simple as it had ever been. It had been months since attacks started and things were relatively normal again. They hadn't seen the broadcasts or warnings, they had missed all the calls from loved ones.That night was when when it all went to shit, people screaming, roads blocked everywhere there was nowhere to go. People went crazy, windows were broken and not a single shop was left un-looted. There was no way they could get anywhere in that ruckus, it had taken all Gavin’s strength and conviction to keep Michael inside his apartment for the night.

First thing next morning Gavin and Michael had grabbed what they could, which was actually a lot since everybody had taken care of getting supplies after the first warning. Michael refused go anywhere but back to the office. They had walked for a day non-stop, and they were there now.

Michael had found a ring, her ring, on his desk with a note that simply said; I love you, they got us. The writing was frantically scribbled which just seemed to make it worse. Gavin saw a spot of blood on the edge and felt tears sting his eyes, It had made the attack seem more real.

Gavin didn't hate Lindsay, he liked her just a much as anyone else. He had always wished she didn't exist though. Because he was jealous. Because Michael was the only person he had ever loved and he couldn't ever have him and she did. She had all of him. And be cause he knew Michael would never love him like he loved her.

The guilt was unbearable, it was eating his mind away. He had wanted him single, but not like this. Never like this. He didn’t have a clue what to say, his words were just as jumbled as his feelings, but he had to say something. "Sorry" He whispered placing a hand on Michael's shoulder "sorry..." He crouched down next to him, Michael's tear stained face looking at him desperately. His brown eyes were like mud puddles in a rainstorm.

"I should've fucking been here!" he cried, crumpling the note in an angry fist.

He stood up and roughly kicked some debris to the side. Gavin saw his fists ball and his face redden "I should've been here!" he screamed, tears gone, replaced with anger.

"Then you would be dead too" Gavin informed him softly.

He turned to Gavin, eyes aflame "I wish, I fucking wish was, then I could be with her!"

"And not me" Gavin added in his head. It would be foolish to voice that. He sighed "I'm sorry Michael but we've got to get the hell out of here"

He glared at Gavin and slipped the ring onto his pinky. "fine" He snapped. heading for the door. "let's go"

Gavin followed, clutching tightly onto his gun.

The frantic, worried Michael had been hard enough to deal with, but the depressed, heartbroken and desperately furious Michael was likely to be worse.

It was evening a few days later and the sky was beginning to fade from deep purples to dark blues and they had set up camp. Michael was curled up in the corner denying any offer of food."I know you've had a shit couple of days but you have to eat!" He stared at Michael’s back hoping for an answer that wouldn't come.

"Please..." again there was no reply " Fine" he muttered "If you want to starve to death that's not my problem."

Gavin grumpily finished his canned soup and stale bread then switched their portable lamp off. He curled up at the other side of the camp, his back facing Michael, and forced his eyes closed.

The world was quiet around them, but that only amplified the noises that were usually silent. He could hear Michael's low breaths like soft tremors through the air. And he could swear that his heartbeat was audible. Gavin heard Michael shifting and smugly thought he was after food. He was wrong of course but he didn't find that out until the steps drew close and he felt Michael's body pressed against his.

Gavin's eyes widened as Michael's arms wound around his waist. Gavin's mouth flapped open then closed, what was happening?. "Wha-"

"Don't speak" Michael's low voice was hot on his neck "I need this"

Michael's touch made him nervous and he kept totally still, fearing that any movement might make him stop, but it was a feeling he had longed for, ever since he had first seen his radiant smile.  
The guilt he'd had felt yesterday rose up again but this time it came with another feeling, a sort of sadness that he couldn't place. He figured it was because this wasn't what Michael really felt. Gavin isn't what he wanted. Gavin isn't who he wanted. He wanted her, not him. He shook the thoughts from his mind and concentrated on Michael's arms on his chest. He ignored both the identical rings that lay on his fingers.

"Gavin" Michael's voice came through his sleep "time to go."

He sat up and the wood that they'd used as walls was gone and their things packed away. He got up and grabbed his gun and bag. Time to go.

They had no idea where they were going but to stay still would be mind-numbing. So they had an unspoken agreement to walk in the same direction until they came across some reason to stop.  
Neither of them mentioned what Michael had done but there was no doubt in Gavin's mind that they were both thinking about it. He noticed little things that gave it away, like Michael said less than he usually did and wouldn't make direct eye contact. The awkwardness Gavin felt could only be matched by Michael's very visible frustration. He would curse every few minutes at something that barely deserved a sideways glance.

Michael was the definite leader of the two. He had the food bag and decided what they ate and where and when they stopped. As the night drew close Michael turned around to make sure he had Gavin's attention then jabbed his finger at a corner shop. This was to be their place of the night.  
Michael led the way inside, pistol raised and ready to fire. they scoped the place out, looking through every door and cupboard until both men were satisfied that they were safe.

"Tomato soup tonight" Michael said, taking out, to Gavin's relief, two bowls.

Gavin watched as he built a small fire and placed the pan in the middle, emptying the contents of the can into it.

"Any bread left?" Gavin asked, he knew the answer but no longer wanted there to be silence.  
Michael rummaged through the bag "Yeah there's a few slices" He went to say something else then closed his mouth.

"You can say anything you want to me" He meant it too, he didn't care if Michael told him that he hated him or that he had never liked him or that last night was the worst mistake he'd ever made, Gavin just wanted him to say something, anything, that couldn't come under the heading of 'small talk'.

"I was just gonna say sorry..." he stirred the soup absentmindedly and looked over guiltily "I kinda blamed you for me not being there when the zombies got to the office and kill-... yeah"

"No" Gavin protested, shaking his head "It's okay, it is my fault I should've-"

"Gavin, I was the one who insisted to drive you, please don't argue with me on this" He stared at Gavin "It was hard enough to apologise"

"C'mere" Michael said, patting the floor beside him "It's almost done"

Gavin sat next to him and lent against the wall. he was close enough so that he could touch him but far away enough that Michael wouldn't know he wanted to.

He watched the red-orange liquid being swirled around the pot. Neither were very competent cookers so they would always wait until it boiled, even though it affected the taste considerably.  
Michael dealt out the liquid then passed Gavin a spoon, a bowl and a slice of bread. They ate with gusto, night being the only time they really had a meal.

They talked about things that didn't matter, stuff that wouldn't be funny if they were anyone else or anywhere else, but they were them and they were there.

The pair were laughing about a stupid joke Gavin made when their laughter faded into silence filled with tension. It was created by the distance, or lack thereof between them and the intense un-breaking eye contact they had. It was a sort of romantic tension, maybe, at a stretch Gavin thought, sexual tension.

Gavin wanted so badly to kiss him, to reach forward and to press his lips against Michael's enchanting plump, rounded, luscious lips. But he knew that it was terribly morally incorrect to go with his gut, but oh, the look Michael was giving him now. Biting his bottom lip like he, too, wanted this.

He heard Michael mumble "Fuck it" before he leaned forward on his hand and pulled Gavin's very willing face towards his. Their lips crashed together, Michael's hand was on Gavin's face, his thumb caressing his cheek. Their heads moved clumsily, noses glancing off each other as they turned. Gavin felt Michael's tongue on his bottom lip and he opened his mouth readily awaiting the feeling. Gavin couldn't keep his hands from wandering up into Michael's hair. Gavin was frightened for a moment when Michael pulled away but all he did was throw a leg over Gavin's lap and rest there before reaching down and resuming their contact. Gavin was going crazy, his mind couldn't handle this. The feeling of Michael thighs against his was indescribable. He urged Michael on with small moans and by holding his head close. Gavin could spend eternity like this, Michael's warmth on his lap and his mouth occupied.Gavin's hands were pulled to Michael's waist, feeling brave he sidled up Michael’s t-shirt a bit and held his soft waist.

Oh god how he loved this, the smooth tender feel of Michael's skin on his fingers . Just knowing it was Michael set his nerves on fire. His whole being was tingling with excitement.Michael pulled off Gavin's shirt and then his own, he threw them to the side and went back to Gavin. He slowly stood up, bringing Gavin with him. When they stood up at full height Gavin was slightly taller so he had to lean down. Their breath was hot and heavy, Gavin could feel the room in his pants lessen and as his crotch grew warm. Michael pressed Gavin against the wall and their bodies collided. Michael looked up at Gavin knowingly through his lashes. Michael lightly licked the skin on Gavin's neck, he shivered, shit, he was getting real hot now. He squirmed as Michael sucked at the sensitive area. one hand was in Michael’s curls and the other on his waist.Michael eyes bore into his as he unbuckled Gavin's belt. He could tell from the look Michael had in his eyes that Michael didn't intend to stop and Gavin certainly wasn't going to make him.

"Turn around" Michael all but ordered.

Gavin complied. He had no use for coy actions, he did it quickly and jutted out his ass. He was ready for this. Michael lowered his boxers.

"Do you-"

"I've got all we need" he said huskily, making Gavin all the more eager, he had planned this.  
He felt a finger press into his ass and it all he had not to back down onto it. He wiggled it and pulled it slowly in and out until he could fit another, Then, finally a third. Gavin's breathing was becoming heavy and he was oh so ready.

"Michael" He called.

The fingers were removed and replaced shortly after by Michael's condom covered cock. His movements at first were slow and gentle. But the pace improved, Michael's hands had Gavin's waist in a vice like grip as he pumped in and out.

"Haa-ah" Gavin moaned "yes"

Michael propped Gavin up a little more and pressed him against the wall, his movements were rougher and he was hitting his spot beautifully. Gavin's head was swimming. It was perfect.

"God, Michael" he groaned "I'm gonna-"

He shuddered and came on the wall. With a few more thrusts he was followed by Michael.

The next morning Gavin strangely awoke first; his face was buried in a mess of red curls and his naked body was pressed into Michael's equally naked body. They shared a look and both looked away quickly, as if mentally denying it ever happened.

Over the next few weeks they developed a routine. They would walk, they would eat, then they'd fuck. It was simple. But then again it wasn't. The two never discussed what happened between them at night. Michael wouldn't talk about it, he just participated and, from what Gavin could tell, he forgot about it.

Gavin desperately wanted to ask him why?, why did he do this with him,? why did he touch him?, why didn't he want to talk about them?. But he feared those answers had something to do with the black ring on his pinky.

That night they set up camp in a small bakery after ensuring its safety. "I'm gonna go check out the clothes store next door" Michael said "My jeans are a bit loose, I wanna see if I can find something better"

"Should I come?"

"Nah, I'll only be a few minutes"

"Alright then"  
Michael was gone for five minutes. Gavin felt a knot in his stomach, he should've gone with him. The knot got tighter and tighter as the minutes ticked by, each second felt longer than the last.  
The door burst open. Michael stumbled in. His t-shirt was torn to shreds. there was blood pouring from his upper-arm.

Gavin leaped up. "Did you get bitten!?". the question didn't need to be asked. Gavin knew the answer.

Michael, with Gavin's help, stumbled over to the wall where he sat himself up. "Yeah..." he said through gritted teeth " I was bitten. The bastard tore the flesh right off me."

Gavin all but threw himself at Michael and tore through his bag for his first aid kit. He ripped the sleeve of Michael's shirt clean off and poured water into the gaping wound. There was a chunk missing and teeth marks around the edge. It was gory flesh wound, deep and gaping and bleeding profusely.

Gavin was no expert in medical terms to say the least. So desperately, he tried his best to help. he wrapped a loop of gauze around his arm, cringing and gagging while Michael winced at his touch.  
He tied the strip of fabric off and looked into Michael's eyes , all he could see was fear, pure and unadulterated fear.

"Gavin I don't wanna change, I don't..." he took in a sharp panicked breath, he was shaking " I don't wanna die"

A tear fell from Gavin's eye and his lip quivered "I don't know what to do Michael, tell me what to do"  
Michael's breaths were rapid and continuous. his eyes bulged and he looked like a newborn animal, helpless.

Gavin lunged forward, planting his mouth heavily on Michael's. Michael quickly reciprocated, getting caught up in that rather than the glaring problem they had

Gavin pampered Michael with tender kisses and loving touches. His shaking hands undid each button on Michael's shirt. He smoothed his hands over Michael's chest and felt his heart beat fast. too fast.

"Breath Michael" He took a breath in and Gavin's hands rose and fell along with each slow intake and exhale.  
Their eyes locked "this is it..." Michael said with tears in his eyes. Gavin so badly wanted to protest, he wanted to say that no, this wasn't it, it couldn't be... but it was and it tore him apart.

"I'm so fucking dumb, i should've gone with you, I should've been there!" The words were all too familiar, And through his watery eyes he could see Michael cease up at them. He knew how it felt.

"Gav... C'mere"

On his face was a smile, it was almost sickly sweet and calm. His eyes were soft and warm. Gavin felt like throwing up.

He sat beside him and Michael leaned on Gavin.

"You were a really great friend gavvers" he said weakly

"So were you, mikey-wikey"

And, so, they shared in a joke for the last time before they fell asleep.

Gavin woke with a start, remembering he was supposed to be watching Michael, he glanced over and he wasn't breathing.

"Michael?, Michael!" There was no reply. He leaned over and shook Michael's lifeless body. "Fuck" Tears were already threatening to pour. He pressed his ear against his chest. No heart beat. Nothing. It was over. His dream had come true for a few months, only to be swiped away in a matter of hours. But he never really had him did he?. Michael used him as a distraction, a way to drown his sorrows.

The body growled. Gavin leapt up and grabbed the gun. Michael's pale bluish face turned slowly until he made eye contact with the unrecognisable, pure black eyes he had known only a few moments ago.

He aimed the gun and with tears readily streaming from his eyes said "You'll always be in my heart" He cocked the gun "Even if I was never in yours" He pulled the trigger. The bullet ripped through Michael's head and he flopped limply to the floor.

Gavin had played many a shooting game but this was real. He let out a choking sob and his legs gave out and he fell to his knees. He touched the blood spattered on his face . it was cold.  
Michael's blood pooled around him and soaked his jeans. "No" he whined, like a toddler that couldn't understand why its mother wasn't standing up.

"Oh, Michael no" he cradled his disfigured head on his lap. His shaking hands wavered over the blood stained skin"No"

He took off the ring on his pinky finger and slipped it on his own, deciding, in his last moments, to pretend."I love you" He croaked.

He reached for the gun and, through his tears, cocked it. He pressed the cool metal to the roof of his mouth and squeezed.

Bang.

The world was quiet after that. His body collapsed against the nearby wall, Michael was still in his arms as he would be forever. But even in death he knew that Michael had always loved her, not him.


End file.
